28: intimacy, at last!

stra·bis·mus
a disorder of vision due to a deviation from normal orientation of one or both eyes so that both cannot be directed at the same object at the same time; squint; crossed eyes.

I built a machine that reads minds. I built it from an old tin can and some odds and ends I found in my garage. My dad used to be an engineer who worked for NASA. His junk was all he left me; believe it or not, rocket scientists don't get paid well at all.

It doesn't just read minds, though, it lets you read minds. It lets you see inside somebody else's head. And better, you can see the world through their eyes. Like putting on really fancy sunglasses. And headphones. And tastebuds.

It's great. Now, whenever my wife and I fight, we just each put on my machine for a few seconds, and then we realize there's nothing to fight about. (It also prevented an affair I almost had, and it makes for great sex.) My kids finally respect me, because they have an idea the kind of shit I have to go through to keep them fed. And I understand why their silly little friends matter so much to them. It's amazing. You wouldn't believe it.

I'm keeping it a secret though. If the world got a hold of it, things would be a lot less exciting.